about our team

Our Team Consists of Professionals

Projecting the perfect balance of authority and competence.

These stock photo performers are almost entirely unlike our actual staff. Our people would naturally be fired immediately if they were careless enough to allow their photograph to be published on the internet. Anonymity is a critical weapon in our security arsenal and we will go to any lengths necessary to preserve it, so that we can continue to provide you with the best possible service.

our mission

Your Safety Is Our First Priority

The presence of a security guard is a visual deterrent that can ward off thieves or criminals.

Whatever the size of your residence, having heavily armed and extremely humorless individuals outside it lets the world know that your personal safety is paramount.

And in the unlikely event of a successful abduction, the subcutaneous tracking devices we implant in all of our protectees will help us find and neutralise your kidnappers to secure your safe return, long before the radiation causes any serious health problems.

Highly trained personnel

Our Security Agents

Bradley Grosh

Martial arts training, hand-to-hand-combat. Weapons certified, fully licensed.

Patrick Pool

Hands registered as lethal weapons. Must wear gloves in California, Florida, and Illinois.

John McCoist

Surveillance and counter-abduction. Can use earpiece without putting hand to head.

Sam Kromstain

Blade training and weapons certification. Knows not to bring a knife to a gunfight.

John Franklin

Explosives expertise. Rarely required, client residences do not need demolition. Usually.

Alan Smith

Uses weaponized facial expressions to inflict lasting psychological damage.

Note: We have used a range of actors here to protect the identities of our agents.